Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 5th June 2011

Dilbert//8086, first published fifteen years ago on Sunday 5th June 2011

Tags

absent mindedness annoyance status upadte multitask one task doubling rate of failure useless blob of carbon

Official transcript

Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

SERIOUSLY? YOURE WHILE I GIVE MY STATUS UPDATE?

DON'T WORRY. I CAN MULTITASK.

MULTITASK?

YOU CAN BARELY DO ONE TASK PROPERLY.

ALL YOU'RE DOING IS DOUBLING YOUR RATE OF FAILURE.

CONGRATULATIONS ON BECOMING THE MOST USELESS BLOB OF CARBON IN THE UNIVERSE.

WHAT? SORRY.

I MISSED THAT.

I SAID MY PROJECT IS ON SCHEDULE.

OKAY GREAT.

THIS TOTALLY WORKS FOR ME.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.