Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th January 2012

Dilbert//8303, first published fourteen years ago on Sunday 8th January 2012

Tags

appearences big cubicle loose weight project leader status system toilet paper holder wider cubicle

Official transcript

Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CONGRATULATIONS!

IM NAMING YOU PROJECT LEADER.

AS SUCH, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO A CUBICLE THAT IS THREE INCHES WIDER THAN STANDARD.

I LIKE THE ONE I HAVE.

YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE IT IS CRITICAL THAT WE MAINTAIN THE INTEGRITY OF THE STATUS SYSTEM.

OTHERWISE OUR CEO WILL LOOK LIKE A JERK FOR HAVING A PRIVATE BATHROOM WITH A TRAINED FALCON AS A TOILET PAPER HOLDER.

FINE.

WHERE'S MY LARGER CUBICLE?

HERE'S THE AWKWARD PART.

WE DON T HAVE ONE.

I NEED YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT UNTIL IT LOOKS AS IF YOUR CUBICLE IS LARGER.

AND IF I DON'T?

THE FALCON NEEDS AN ASSISTANT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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