Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th January 2012

Dilbert//8303, first published fourteen years ago on Sunday 8th January 2012

Tags

appearences big cubicle loose weight project leader status system toilet paper holder wider cubicle

Official transcript

Boss: Congratulations! I'm naming you project leader. As such, you are entitled to a cubicle that is three inches wider than standard. Dilbert: I like the one I have. Boss: You don't have a choice. It is critical that we maintain the integrity of the status system. Otherwise our CEO will look like a jerk for having a private bathroom with a trained falcon as a toilet paper holder. Dilbert: Fine. Where's my larger cubicle? Boss: Here's the awkward part. We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger. Dilbert: And if I don't? Boss: The falcon needs an assistant.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CONGRATULATIONS!

IM NAMING YOU PROJECT LEADER.

AS SUCH, YOU ARE ENTITLED TO A CUBICLE THAT IS THREE INCHES WIDER THAN STANDARD.

I LIKE THE ONE I HAVE.

YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE IT IS CRITICAL THAT WE MAINTAIN THE INTEGRITY OF THE STATUS SYSTEM.

OTHERWISE OUR CEO WILL LOOK LIKE A JERK FOR HAVING A PRIVATE BATHROOM WITH A TRAINED FALCON AS A TOILET PAPER HOLDER.

FINE.

WHERE'S MY LARGER CUBICLE?

HERE'S THE AWKWARD PART.

WE DON T HAVE ONE.

I NEED YOU TO LOSE WEIGHT UNTIL IT LOOKS AS IF YOUR CUBICLE IS LARGER.

AND IF I DON'T?

THE FALCON NEEDS AN ASSISTANT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

AI Analysis

Comic Strip Title: "Cubicle Wars"

Summary:

The comic strip revolves around Dilbert, a bespectacled character with a distinctive hairstyle, who is determined to secure a larger cubicle. He approaches his project leader, who is seated at a desk, and requests an upgrade. The project leader is dismissive, citing the need for a smaller cubicle due to "standard" size requirements. Dilbert persists, pointing out that his current cubicle is awkwardly shaped and lacks a private bathroom.

The project leader remains unyielding, insisting that the current cubicle is sufficient. Dilbert then resorts to a clever tactic, suggesting that the project leader's assistant, a falcon, would benefit from a larger cubicle. The project leader is taken aback by this unexpected proposal and begins to reconsider Dilbert's request.

Ultimately, the project leader relents, agreeing to provide Dilbert with a larger cubicle. However, he warns that Dilbert will need to lose weight before the cubicle can be enlarged. Dilbert is thrilled with the outcome and proudly proclaims, "We don't have one. I need you to lose weight until it looks as if your cubicle is larger."

Key Takeaways:

• Dilbert's determination and resourcefulness ultimately lead to his desired outcome.
• The project leader's initial reluctance is overcome by Dilbert's creative approach.
• The comic strip pokes fun at corporate bureaucracy and the absurdity of office politics.

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