Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 14th April 2013

Dilbert//8765, first published thirteen years ago on Sunday 14th April 2013

Tags

inventions win battle developing better tv sets digital couch butt warmer bottle opener back scratcher control lights temperature buttocks like a mouse

Official transcript

Wally: The biggest tech companies want to win the battle for your living room. But they are unwisely focusing on developing better TV sets. Today I give you me design for a fully digital couch. It has all of the features you would expect, including a butt warmer, surround sound, bottle opener and back scratcher. But you can also control the lights, curtains, temperature and TV by using your buttocks like a mouse on the seat cushion. This is a loft click and... this is a right. The prototype arrives tomorrow, and I'll be testing it for the next six months. Maybe I'll sell my house.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THE BIGGEST TECH COMPANIES WANT TO WIN THE BATTLE FOR YOUR LIVING ROOM.

LIVING ROOM BUT THEY ARE UNWISELY FOCUSING ON DEVELOPING BETTER TV SETS.

TODAY I GIVE YOU MY DESIGN FOR A FULLY DIGITAL COUCH.

IT HAS ALL OF THE FEATURES YOU WOULD EXPECT, INCLUDING A BUTT WARMER, SURROUND SOUND, BOTTLE OPENER AND BACK SCRATCHER.

BUT YOU CAN ALSO CONTROL THE LIGHTS, CURTAINS, TEMPERATURE AND TV BY USING YOUR BUTTOCKS LIKE A MOUSE ON THE SEAT CUSHION.

THIS IS A LEFT CLICK AND THIS IS A RIGHT.

THE PROTOTYPE ARRIVES TOMORROW, AND I'LL BE TESTING IT FOR THE NEXT SIX MONTHS.

MAYBE I'LL SELL MY HOUSE

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.