Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 28th July 2013

Dilbert//8870, first published thirteen years ago on Sunday 28th July 2013

Tags

deception laziness training class training expenses vendor permission proactive alleged class truts aggressiveness uselessness

Official transcript

Wally: I accomplished nothing this week because I was in a training class. Boss: I didn't approve any training expenses. Wally: A vendor paid for it. Boss: You didn't ask for permission. Wally: I'm proactive and empowered. Boss: And what was the name of this alleged class? Wally: Advanced scripting structure for internetwork optimization of SQL databases. Boss: That doesn't sound real. Wally: I can't do my job if you don't trust me! Do you like how I combined aggressiveness with my baseline level of uselessness? I have a good feeling about this. Dilbert: You might need more aggressiveness.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

I ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING THIS WEEK BECAUSE I WAS IN A TRAINING CLASS.

I DIDN'T APPROVE ANY TRAINING EXPENSES.

VENDOR PAID FOR IT.

YOU DIDN'T ASK FOR PERMISSION.

I'M PROACTIVE AND EMPOWERED.

AND WHAT WAS THE NAME OF THIS ALLEGED CLASS?

ADVANCED SCRIPTING STRUCTURE FOR INTERNETWORK OPTIMIZATION OF SQL DATABASES.

THAT DOESN'T SOUND REAL.

I CAN'T DO MY JOB IF YOU DON'T TRUST ME!

DO YOU LIKE HOW I COMBINED AGGRESSIVENESS WITH MY BASELINE LEVEL OF USELESSNESS?

I HAVE A GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

YOU MIGHT NEED MORE AGGRESSIVENESS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

Accompanying textual content, such as title, tags and transcripts, is shown here if we have it. Not every comic has all of these, and they seem to be a bit hit and miss even on the official website.