Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 4th August 2013

Dilbert//8877, first published thirteen years ago on Sunday 4th August 2013

Tags

pessimism telephones collaboration tools trying to accomplish bad acoustics speaker phones randomly agreed better than expected crime not committed

Official transcript

Boss: How'd your call go? Dilbert: Better than I expected. We spent the first 45 minutes trying to get our online collaboration tools to work. Then we couldn't agree on what we were trying to accomplish. I couldn't understand most of the attendees because they were on speakerphones in rooms with bad acoustics. I randomly agreed to a few things, but I don't know what. Boss: I thought you said it went better than you expected. Dilbert: It did. I go into every human encounter expecting to be framed for a crime I didn't commit. Boss: I really need to find a problem I can fix.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

HOW'D YOUR CALL GO?

BETTER THAN I EXPECTED WE SPENT THE FIRST 45 MINUTES TRYING TO GET OUR ONLINE COLLABORATION TOOLS TO WORK.

THEN WE COULDN'T AGREE ON WHAT WE WERE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH.

I COULDN'T UNDERSTAND MOST OF THE ATTENDEES BECAUSE THEY WERE ON SPEAKERPHONES IN ROOMS WITH BAD ACOUSTICS.

I RANDOMLY AGREED TO A FEW THINGS.

BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID IT WENT BETTER THAN YOU EXPECTED.

IT DID. I GO INTO EVERY HUMAN ENCOUNTER EXPECTING TO BE FRAMED FOR A CRIME I DIDN'T COMMIT.

I REALLY NEED TO FIND A PROBLEM I CAN FIX.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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