Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 18th August 2013

Dilbert//8891, first published thirteen years ago on Sunday 18th August 2013

Tags

employees laziness insuffcemt light interpret accomplishments project team buzzwords duplicates harvesting organs business

Official transcript

Boss: Wally, this is my brother, Phil, The Prince of Insufficient Light. I asked him to interpret your accomplishments for this quarter. Phil You have 25 alleged accomplishments. Eight of these accomplishments involved simply being on a project team that did something. Nine accomplishments involved fixing problems you created. Five of these are just buzzwords that don't mean anything. And three are duplicates that you reworded to appear different. I'd recommend harvesting his organs, but those probably don't work either. Wally: That's just mean.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WALLY, THIS IS MY BROTHER, PHIL, THE PRINCE OF INSUFFICIENT LIGHT.

I ASKED HIM TO INTERPRET YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS FOR THIS QUARTER.

YOU HAVE 25 ALLEGED MENTS.

EIGHT OF THESE ACCOMPLISHMENTS INVOLVED SIMPLY BEING ON A PROJECT TEAM THAT DID SOMETHING.

NINE ACCOMPLISHMENTS INVOLVED FIXING PROBLEMS YOU CREATED.

FIVE OF THESE ARE JUST BUZZWORDS THAT DON'T MEAN ANYTHING.

AND THREE ARE DUPLICATES THAT YOU REWORDED TO APPEAR DIFFERENT.

I'D RECOMMEND HARVESTING HIS ORGANS, BUT THOSE PROBABLY DON'T WORK EITHER.

THAT'S JUST MEAN.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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