Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 25th August 2013
Dilbert//8898, first published thirteen years ago on Sunday 25th August 2013
Tags
natural disasters disaster preparedness famine keyboard crumbs alene invasion kill a coworker lizard people impending collison asteroid running in place earth rotates planet hit by asteroid human flesh presentation is a disater
Official transcript
Wally: I've been asked to explain our disaster preparedness plan. In the event of a famine, turn your keyboard upside down and shake. If it's anything like mine, you'll find a pound and a half of crumbs. In the event of an alien invasion, your best bet is to kill a co-worker to show your allegiance to the lizard-people. In the event of an impending collision with an asteroid, try running in place while the Earth rotates. If you time it right, you'll be on the other side of the planet when the asteroid hits. To prepare for every other type of disaster, I recommend cultivating a taste for human flesh. Boss: Your presentation is a disaster. Wally: And next time you'll be prepared for it.
originally published on dilbert.com
Open source transcript
IVE BEEN ASKED TO EXPLAIN OUR DISASTER PREPAREDNESS PLAN.
IN THE EVENT OF FAMINE, TURN YOUR KEYBOARD UPSIDE DOWN AND SHAKE.
IF IT'S ANYTHING LIKE MINE, YOULL FIND A POUND AND A HALF OF CRUMBS.
IN THE EVENT OF AN ALIEN INVASION, YOUR BEST BET IS TO KILL A COWORKER TO SHOW YOUR ALLEGIANCE TO THE LIZARD-PEOPLE.
IN THE EVENT OF AN IMPENDING COLLISION WITH AN ASTEROID, TRY RUNNING IN PLACE WHILE THE EARTH ROTATES.
IF YOU TIME IT RIGHT, YOULL BE ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE PLANET WHEN THE ASTEROID HITS.
TO PREPARE FOR EVERY OTHER TYPE OF DISASTER, I RECOMMEND CULTIVATING A TASTE FOR HUMAN FLESH.
MMM- YOUR PRESENTATION IS A DISASTER.
AND NEXT TIME YOULL BE PREPARED FOR IT.
collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive
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