Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 16th November 2014

Dilbert//9346, first published twelve years ago on Sunday 16th November 2014

Tags

criticism, frankness, goals, honesty, managers, root cause, bad parenting, pointy headed boos, underlings, rapidly evolving nature, talented employee, boss life story

Official transcript

Boss: You haven't achieved any of your goals for the year. What is up with that? Dilbert: Do you want an explanation that goes back to the root cause? Boss: Of course. Dilbert: The problem started years ago, when two idiots unwisely created a third smaller idiot. They compounded their mistake with bad parenting. The toddler ate candy and sniffed wet paint until he became a pointy-headed boss. The pointy-headed boss set goals for his underlings that ignored the rapidly evolving nature of the industry. Then he got angry at his most talented employee for giving an accurate answer to a question. Boss: I hate you. Dilbert: Nothing could halt the downward spiral.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

YOU HAVEN'T ACHIEVED ANY OF YOUR GOALS FOR THE YEAR. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?

DO YOU WANT AN EXPLANATION THAT GOES BACK TO THE ROOT CAUSE?

OF COURSE.

THE PROBLEM STARTED YEARS AGO, WHEN TWO IDIOTS UNWISELY CREATED A THIRD, SMALLER IDIOT.

THEY COMPOUNDED THEIR MISTAKE WITH BAD PARENTING.

THE TODDLER ATE CANDY AND SNIFFED WET PAINT UNTIL HE BECAME A POINTY- HEADED BOSS.

THE POINTY-HEADED BOSS SET GOALS FOR HIS UNDERLINGS THAT IGNORED THE RAPIDLY EVOLVING NATURE OF THE INDUSTRY.

THEN HE GOT ANGRY AT HIS MOST TALENTED EMPLOYEE FOR GIVING AN ACCURATE ANSWER TO A QUESTION.

I HATE YOU.

NOTHING COULD HALT THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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