Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 8th March 2015

Dilbert//9458, first published 11 years ago on Sunday 8th March 2015

Tags

catch-22, compliment, compliments, insult, insulting, work ethic, technical skills, perfect attendance, risk averse, no social life, irrational needs, code writing puppet

Official transcript

Boss: You're a perfect employee in many ways. Dilbert: I am? Boss: For example, you have excellent technical skills. Dilbert: That's true. Boss: And your attendance is perfect. Dilbert: Yes, it is. Boss: And you are too risk-averse to quit and start your own company. Dilbert: What? Boss: Plus, you have no social life to interfere with work.Dilbert: Are these still compliments? Boss: Combine all of that with your irrational need for approval, and it makes you a code-writing puppet. Did I already say you're underpaid? Dilbert: Stop complimenting me!

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

YOU'RE A PERFECT EMPLOYEE IN SO MANY WAYS.

I AM?

FOR EXAMPLE, YOU HAVE EXCELLENT TECHNICAL SKILLS.

THAT'S TRUE.

AND YOUR ATTENDANCE IS PERFECT.

YES, IT IS.

AND YOU ARE TOO RISK-AVERSE TO QUIT AND START YOUR OWN COMPANY.

WHAT?

PLUS YOU HAVE NO SOCIAL LIFE TO INTERFERE WITH WORK.

ARE THESE STILL COMPLIMENTS?

COMBINE ALL OF THAT WITH YOUR IRRATIONAL NEED FOR APPROVAL, AND IT MAKES YOU A CODE-WRITING PUPPET.

DID I ALREADY SAY YOU'RE UNDERPAID?

STOP COMPLIMENTING ME!

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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