Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st February 2016

Dilbert//9808, first published ten years ago on Sunday 21st February 2016

Tags

quality, work ethic, deadlines, expectations, speed, trade off

Official transcript

Boss: When will you have that done? Dilbert: Two weeks. Boss: Can you do it faster? Dilbert: Yes. All I need to do is lower the quality. Dilbert: Tell me what your minimum acceptable quality level is and I'll tell you when you can have it. Boss: I want it in one week. Dilbert: I can do that at 50 percent of planned quality. Boss: Why does it feel as if I'm not really managing anything here? Dilbert: Maybe you could go manage someone else now. Boss: I can't tell if I'm doing my job now. Dilbert: Is it your job to prevent me from working?

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WHEN WILL YOU HAVE THAT DONE?

TWO WEEKS.

CAN YOU DO IT FASTER?

YES.

ALL I NEED TO DO IS LOWER THE QUALITY.

TELL ME WHAT YOUR MINIMUM ACCEPTABLE QUALITY LEVEL IS AND I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU CAN HAVE IT.

I WANT IT IN ONE WEEK.

I CAN DO THAT AT 50% OF PLANNED QUALITY.

WHY DOES IT FEEL AS IF I'M NOT REALLY MANAGING ANYTHING HERE?

MAYBE YOU COULD GO MANAGE SOMEONE ELSE NOW.

I CAN T TELL IF IM DOING MY JOB NOW.

IS IT YOUR JOB TO PREVENT ME FROM WORKING?

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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