Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 1st January 2017

Dilbert//10123, first published nine years ago on Sunday 1st January 2017

Tags

happiness, work, torture, human resources, hr, manipulation, content, psychology, business

Official transcript

Catbert: The one called Dilbert is showing signs of happiness at work. Boss: That means we can give him more work and he won't quit. Excellent. Is anyone else exhibiting signs of unauthorized happiness? Catbert: No. Everyone else is in the narrow band of misery you want them to be in. If they were any happier, it would mean you're overpaying them. If they were any less happy, the would take their own lives. If you don't hear any laughing or screaming, it means you're doing something right. Boss: What about moans? Catbert: Moans are ideal. That's the sweet spot.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THE ONE CALLED DILBERT IS SHOWING SIGNS OF HAPPINESS AT WORK.

THAT MEANS WE CAN GIVE HIM MORE WORK AND HE WON'T QUIT. EXCELLENT.

IS ANYONE ELSE EXHIBITING SIGNS OF UNAUTHORIZED HAPPINESS?

NO. EVERYONE ELSE IS IN THE NARROW BAND OF MISERY YOU WANT THEM TO BE IN.

IF THEY WERE ANY HAPPIER, IT WOULD MEAN YOU'RE OVERPAYING THEM.

IF THEY WERE ANY LESS HAPPY, THEY WOULD TAKE THEIR OWN LIVES.

Lis dur IF YOU DON'T HEAR ANY LAUGHING OR SCREAMING, IT MEANS YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING RIGHT.

WHAT ABOUT MOANS?

MOANS ARE IDEAL.

THAT'S THE SWEET SPOT.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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