Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 21st May 2017

Dilbert//10263, first published nine years ago on Sunday 21st May 2017

Tags

friendship, closeness, favor, benefit, debate, relationships

Official transcript

Tina: Can you give me a ride to the airport on Saturday? Dilbert: My attorney will answer that question. Dogbert: The evidence will show that you are not the kind of friend who qualifies for airport rides. I will prove beyond a reasonable doubt that you are what is called a "work friend."

A background check with your family and acquaintances will show that you are unlikely to ever reciprocate. In short, there is no social or monetary reason for Dilbert to agree to your unreasonable request. Tina: Maybe he just wants to be nice. Dogbert: The evidence would suggest otherwise.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

CAN YOU GIVE ME A RIDE TO THE AIRPORT ON SATURDAY?

MY ATTORNEY WILL ANSWER THAT QUESTION.

THE EVIDENCE WILL SHOW THAT YOU ARE NOT THE KIND OF FRIEND WHO QUALIFIES FOR AIRPORT RIDES.

I WILL PROVE BEYOND A REASONABLE DOUBT THAT YOU ARE WHAT IS CALLED A "WORK FRIEND." A BACKGROUND CHECK WITH YOUR FAMILY AND ACQUAINTANCES WILL SHOW THAT YOU ARE UNLIKELY TO EVER RECIPROCATE.

IN SHORT, THERE IS NO SOCIAL OR MONETARY REASON FOR DILBERT TO AGREE TO YOUR UNREASONABLE REQUEST.

MAYBE HE JUST WANTS TO BE NICE.

THE EVIDENCE WOULD SUGGEST OTHERWISE.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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