Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 17th December 2017

Dilbert//10473, first published nine years ago on Sunday 17th December 2017

Tags

laziness, accomplishment, narcissist, narcissism, review, firing, excuse

Official transcript

Narrator: The Underperforming Narcissist. Boss: Topper, you've accomplished nothing this year. Topper: Are you kidding? I'm the greatest employee this world has ever seen! Boss: You have literally done nothing useful for a year. Topper: Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows that "less is more."

And I've done far less than anyone. Wally: Sorry I'm late. I thought I heard an animal trapped in my car's engine. Boss: Did you do less than Wally? Topper: Maybe we could continue this talk when he's not in the office. Wally: Any time before 11 a.m. is usually good.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THE UNDERPERFORMING NARCISSIST TOPPER, YOU'VE ACCOMPLISHED NOTHING THIS YEAR.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

I'M THE GREATEST EMPLOYEE THIS WORLD HAS EVER SEEN!

YOU HAVE LITERALLY DONE NOTHING USEFUL FOR A YEAR.

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

EVERYONE KNOWS "LESS IS MORE." AND IVE DONE FAR LESS THAN ANYONE.

SORRY I'M LATE.

I THOUGHT I HEARD AN ANIMAL TRAPPED IN MY CAR'S ENGINE.

DID YOU DO LESS THAN WALLY?

MAYBE WE COULD CONTINUE THIS TALK WHEN HE'S NOT IN THE OFFICE, ANY TIME BEFORE 11 A.M. IS USUALLY GOOD.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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