Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 11th March 2018

Dilbert//10557, first published eight years ago on Sunday 11th March 2018

Tags

interview, hiring, honesty, immoral, ulterior motives

Official transcript

Dilbert: What would you say are your biggest weaknesses? Man: I like to rifle through my coworkers' desks when they aren't looking. But I don't steal anything unless I know I can frame someone else for the crime. I leave for work an hour late every day and blame traffic. I avoid accomplishing goals so I won't feel like sellout. Sometimes I'll start a trash fire just to get out of a meeting. And I've gotten every one of my bosses fired for things they didn't say or do. Boss: Would he be a good fit? Dilbert: I like what he has to offer.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WHAT WOULD YOU SAY ARE YOUR BIGGEST WEAKNESSES?

I LIKE TO RIFLE THROUGH MY COWORKERS' DESKS WHEN THEY AREN'T LOOKING.

BUT I DON'T STEAL ANYTHING UNLESS I KNOW I CAN FRAME SOMEONE ELSE FOR THE CRIME.

I LEAVE FOR WORK AN HOUR LATE EVERY DAY AND BLAME TRAFFIC.

I AVOID ACCOM PLISHING GOALS SO I WON'T FEEL LIKE A SELLOUT SOMETIMES I'LL START A TRASH FIRE JUST TO GET OUT OF A MEETING.

AND I'VE GOTTEN EVERY ONE OF MY BOSSES FIRED FOR THINGS THEY DIDN'T SAY OR DO.

WOULD HE BE A GOOD FIT?

I LIKE WHAT HE HAS TO OFFER.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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