Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 25th March 2018

Dilbert//10571, first published eight years ago on Sunday 25th March 2018

Tags

team, teamwork, collaboration, excuses, group project, business

Official transcript

Dilbert: Thank you all for coming. I'm hoping we can make a lot of progress in the next hour. Alice; I didn't get any sleep last night, so don't expect much from me. Asok: I'm so hungry I can barely think. Man 1: I might be a bit distracted today because my wife told me she wants to leave me. Wally: I can't stay for the whole meeting. I have another thing in a few minutes Man 2: I'm only here to sabotage your project because I can't abide the success of others. Dilbert; Why don't all of you leave now and I'll make all the decisions myself. Boss: How'd the team meeting go? Dilbert: Better than I expected.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING. I'M HOPING WE CAN MAKE A LOT OF PROGRESS IN THE NEXT HOUR.

I DIDN'T GET ANY SLEEP LAST NIGHT, SO DON'T EXPECT MUCH FROM ME.

I'M SO HUNGRY I CAN BARELY THINK.

I MIGHT BE A BIT DISTRACTED TODAY BECAUSE MY WIFE TOLD ME SHE WANTS TO LEAVE ME.

I CAN'T STAY FOR THE WHOLE MEETING. I HAVE ANOTHER THING IN A FEW MINUTES.

I'M ONLY HERE TO SABOTAGE YOUR PROJECT BECAUSE I CAN'T ABIDE THE SUCCESS OF OTHERS.

WHY DON'T ALL OF YOU LEAVE NOW AND I'LL MAKE ALL THE DECISIONS MYSELF.

HOW'D THE TEAM MEETING GO?

BETTER THAN I EXPECTED.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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