Dilbert cartoon first published on Sunday 6th May 2018

Dilbert//10613, first published eight years ago on Sunday 6th May 2018

Tags

insurance, humiliation, death, scam, darwin awards, spin, headline, media, entertainment, medical

Official transcript

Dogbert: Would you like to buy an insurance policy to protect against a humorous death? Boss: Why would I need it? Dogbert: well, let's say you're at the zoo and you drop your sunglasses into the lion pit. You lower yourself into the pit to get the sunglasses, but the lions get to you first. You don't want the headlines to read "Pointy-haired Idiot Mauled To Death By The King Of The Jungle."

So instead, the moment you die, my agents rush in to create a narrative for the media. In this case, we might spin the story as "Local Man Teaches Zoo How To Reduce Food Costs."

Boss: Are the policies affordable? Dogbert: Yes, if you waive the coverage for mascot-related deaths.

originally published on dilbert.com

Open source transcript

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BUY AN INSURANCE POLICY TO PROTECT AGAINST A HUMOROUS DEATH?

WHY WOULD I NEED IT?

WELL, LET'S SAY YOU'RE AT THE ZOO AND YOU DROP YOUR SUNGLASSES INTO THE LION PIT.

YOU LOWER YOURSELF INTO THE PIT TO GET THE SUNGLASSES, BUT THE LIONS GET TO YOU FIRST.

YOU DON'T WANT THE HEADLINES TO READ "POINTY-HAIRED IDIOT MAULED TO DEATH BY THE KING OF THE JUNGLE." SO INSTEAD, THE MOMENT YOU DIE, MY AGENTS RUSH IN TO CREATE A NARRATIVE FOR THE MEDIA.

WE MIGHT SPAN THE STORY AS "LOCAL MAN TEACHES ZOO HOW TO REDUCE FOOD COSTS." ARE THE POLICIES AFFORDABLE?

YES, IF YOU WAIVE COVERAGE FOR MASCOT -RELATED DEATHS.

collated from github.com/jvarn/dilbert-archive

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