Jokes

I do not believe in

I do not believe in diets. The closest I've been to a diet is erasing the food searches from my browser history.

Why was the tomato blushing?

Why was the tomato blushing? Because it saw the salad dressing.

Why don’t secret agents play

Why don’t secret agents play cards? Because of all the cheetahs.

Wearing glasses doesn’t mean you’re

Wearing glasses doesn’t mean you’re smart. I had to fail a test to get mine.

I went into my local

I went into my local library and asked if they had any books on floor panels. “No,” the librarian replied. “We keep them on shelves here”.

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